D, a psychotherapist and sexologist in Royal Oak, Michigan. Give him a compliment, tell him your problem, then follow it up with another compliment. It was really, really hot. My wife seems to feel less self conscious about getting oral when I'm down on her at the same time, so she really lets loose and reciprocates by deep throating and going harder sucking at my penis. If you're not comfortable bringing it up on your own or discussing it when your partner does , she suggests seeing a therapist, who can help the two of you navigate the issue in a healthy way. It makes penetration feel deeper for us both , especially if her butt is hanging a little bit off the bed. When you tell him a story. Men want you to embrace sex. I'm an ass man so, for me, there's nothing better than watching her ass come straight at me. That way, a dialogue is created that allows for honesty, dignity, and closeness without him feeling like he's doing something shameful, while you can figure out what you're OK with accepting and what you're not. Next time you're feeling hot and heavy, pull one out. Guys want to be touched. Gently gripping a man's testicles, as it can be a real turn-on that blends control with release. Many are impacted by performance anxiety too, asking themselves questions like, "Will I be able to get an erection? When you have sex on the couch. When you have sex in front of a mirror.